With both my kids, I gained more than 50 lbs during the pregnancy. No matter how much I watched what I ate, or exercised on a regular basis, I just piled on the pounds. That is when I realized how much our body shape and weight is controlled by hormones! Both times, I tested positive for gestational diabetes. With my son, my sugar levels were a lot higher and they had to put me on insulin. I remember being very shocked, because I was a typical yoga-loving, salad-eating California gal at the time, so how could I have sugar issues! With Divya, I was more careful and my levels weren't as bad. But the thing is even though gestational diabetes disappears after childbirth, losing that extra weight is a giant pain in the a**! It took me 18 months to lose the baby weight with Arjun, and it hurt my self esteem and confidence.
Right now, I am still wearing my maternity clothes, and hate dressing up for an evening out. But then some days these horrible clouds of self doubt will disappear; when I remind myself that I did it once, and I can do it again. I have started my yoga practice, even if I get just 10 minutes every now and then. I have started doing intense workouts once or twice a week. I know its going to be a slow process. Some people drop their baby weight in just 6 weeks, some take 6 months, and for me it might be closer to a year, but working on that mental strength is my goal for now. (FYI, I tried my regular pair of jeans this morning and they fit, albeit a bit snug around the middle ;)
POST BABY BLUES: Hit me after 3 months! Ha
I have never considered myself to be a depressed soul. Maybe moody, but depressed, never. But let me tell you that post partum depression is very real, and can sneak up on you at any stage after the baby. When both my kids were born, I was fortunate enough to have my mother around for an extended period of time. I never felt super exhausted during the initial months because while I was busy caring for my girl, my mom was busy caring for me. It was the most beautiful time I spent with my mom as an adult. With Abhay traveling for work, I am alone most weekdays, but I didn't feel lonely because of my mom. But soon after she left, I felt like I was in a vacuum. Most days I enjoyed being with my little one, especially as she got more interactive, but then there were days where I was just grumpy and sad. Not sure if this classifies as depression, but I know I didn't feel OK. It didn't help that I was reading about wars and mass shootings, not to forget our presidential election. Thank goodness for NETFLIX!! I resumed watching The Gilmore Girls, and followed it with The Office. These shows saved my sanity! I am also fortunate enough to be surrounded with great friends and neighbors, and I can always count on my girlfriends to cheer me up. Being a new mom can sometimes be very isolating, but that feeling is short lived. Yes, seeing your baby will make you happy, but you need to make time for yourself, even if it means binge watching TV!
ON A HAPPIER NOTE: YOU ENJOY THE SECOND CHILD MORE. Even better, you enjoy watching the sibling love!